Feeling his love for us.

Today i took my daughter to a town about 20 mins away that i didnt know and for 45 mimutes my daughter walked along with me choosing people to hand a rose and a card to. This was such an amazing experience as i watched other people ask why and see their reactions for a 3 year old to say... i think you need a smile hand them a pretty rose and promptly walk away. It was amazing she would say mom i made them happy right? she put 3 of the roses and cards on car windshields which was cool to hide and see thier reaction. I love to watch our savior work through this little child. I decided to do this with her because i wanted to do something with her before she left that would teach her atleast one thing before going to a house without the church. The shock on peoples faces was great. She chose people at random and 3 cars and a mailbox. Below are pics of her before and a pic of what the card said. except it wont upload so ill do that now.... Im such a lucky mom. Sorry for any typos im on my phone.

 

She had red roses and a thank you card that said the following:

You have been chosen, not by me, but by my daughter to receive this letter. I’m not sure why she chose you, maybe because you just needed a smile or just a confirmation that someone cares and wants you to be happy and to have a great day today, and everyday. Thank you for being a part of our community, we appreciate and love you. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers though out the week. Thank you for allowing my small daughter Madison to be a vessel and feel her love for other people in the world to grow. Enjoy your day, may it be filled with smiles and laughs.

This is her first time ever doing this and I want you to know that no one else told us to do these things, I believe that through random acts of kindness and service to other we are able to soften our hearts, and truly learn the Savior’s love for us. May I testify to you that you are loved, you are a special part of this community. I believe that I am the line in the sand standing between my family and evil, and by teaching my daughter love, it will help her grow in service to others and create her own testimony of our Saviors love for us. Thank you for allowing her to do and learn these things.

Have a blessed day.

Victoria Weston

 

My trials do not define me.

After my last blog about Madison and Bentley playing together I literally got physically sick. I felt as if I was going to vomit any second and the spent yet another night crying something aweful. Lucky me. My husband sat me up (I didn't want to move) and we prayed together. Then something strange happened. I was completely overcome with bad emotions. I went from crying and feeling sorry for myself to hating the fact that she has to leave to complaining about my life you aould not believe the thoughts that consumed my mind. It changed my attitude completely I never have seem this side of myself. I realized what I was doing.

This reminded me of a time when I was pregnant with cammy our youngest and I was having this horrible day. I ran late for a very important meeting for my honors program and so then I sped and got a 200.00 ticket and then made it to school late and was kicked out of my program and then I failed an exam and then I lost my husbands 375.00 sunglases. .  It was a bad day so I went and got a cherry coke with tears streaming down my face I stirred my coke and look out side and began naming my blessings.
The temple
Sealed
House
Car
Companionship
Healthy babies
And then I named KFC's mashed potatoes (my craving)
And I smiled. I found a smile on a horrible day. It was amazing

So anyways last night after noticing my thoughts I stopped and just apologized to my Heavenly Father and told his i love my life and know he will help me through it abd then i repeated my trials will not define me. My trials will not define me. My trials will not define me. I fell asleep saying that in my head.
This morning I felt okay not physically sick but emotionally drained. Not to mention it is finals week. So I flipped through my Book of Mormon and this is what jumped out:
Mosiah 24
13 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

Thank you Book of Morman (happy dance) always has my back!
So in closing:
MY TRIALS WILL NOT DEFINE ME.

I'm not alone in my suffering.

The other night I realized something quite silly... I am mot the only one that will miss our beloved daughter. Last night and we put our two oldest to bed, our son Bentley quickly ran into his sisters bed and began jumping on it, of course Madison joined him... we all had this joyous moment together. Cameron and I were laughing and Bentley and Madison were having such a great time. It soon came to an end as it was time for bed. As they stopped jumping in that moment I realized how much Bentley loved his darling sister and how close they were. They love each other so much. I couldn't help but for my heart to ache for our sweet boy. The exact thought to enter my head was... "They don't even know what will take place in 11 short days." I feel so bad for him. I try to put myself in his shoes and wonder how he will feel and in what moment will he realize she is no longer here with us. I pray that he will remember her and not get too depressed. I wish this didn't have to happen.  My heart hurts not only for myself but for my children, all three of them and my husband who tries to stay strong just the same. 

Why is it getting so close?

A couple of weeks before we always go on the our family wizard website (in which we communicate) and ill write Madison's activities and some of her favorites, and certain things I like them to know, since she isn't there often and they do not have her for more than a couple of days through the holidays I keep them updated. Writing this today makes it all so real, and makes me sad and I cried the whole time. It stinks and it hurts. I know ill be okay, we are sealed and we will get through this.


-peanut butter
-fruit fruit fruit
apples
especially strawberries
cantaloupe
bananas
-chocolate milk has to be chocolate or strawberry she settles for nothing less. the dentist says that at night only water. Seriously. ONLY WATER. if she comes back with rotten teeth I blame you >.>
-pizza peperoni
-noodles drained with Italian dressing, if you want to know more text me
-steak with A1
- Bratwurst yumm!
-spaghetti
-bacon
-reses cereal
-cinn toast crunch cereal
if you give her lucky charms mike she will only eat the marshmallows.

read to her at night, make sure you tell her how much mommy loves misses her
don't let her forget her brother and other sister. Oh and Loki, he's important too.
She loves surprise kisses and random hugs, I like to squeeze extra tight just so she feels it :)
if you do this you will find that she will come up to you and do this all the time and its the cutest thing
she loves "nose"  kisses where you rub your nose on hers. Also I like to say maddie how much does mommy
love you and she will get a huge grin and open her arms as wide as she can and ill say that's sooo much and she
will run and knock you down and hug you.
Keep her manners up to par. If she doesn't say thank you say, what do you say? or tell her to ask nicely.
if you keep the tv on she will stay up all night. limit to one or two shows.
try to get her to make her bed in the morning, she isn't potty trained through the night just yet so pull ups are good she will tell you when she has to go